50 Shades of Cray Cray

Q: Why does my wife/girlfriend get so angry with me after watching The Notebook and other chick flicks?

A: The answer is simple and complex at the same time. This may seem like a generalization, and all women are different, but all women to some degree or another want to be treated like a princess. Since they were little girls, they have been fed a fantasy about a knight in shining armor. Even otherwise sensible women watch rom-coms and read slutty romance novels, and once again they are transported back to girlhood where they are whisked away from their so-so life by tall, dark, handsome. Then they look over at you.............Beer belly, playing Halo or World of Warcraft, while simultaneously eating a hoagie and chewing your toenail trimmings. Not sexy.

So, what's an average Joe to do? You could trade in your gf for a stepford-wife robot (they don't talk much from what I hear), throw up your hands and realize that until women stop being hardwired this way you are screwed, or you can be that fantasy guy. Gasp! No, I don't mean that you'll ever measure up to Ryan Gosling, Edward Cullen, or Christian Grey. Sorry. But you can take some cues from them and earn some brownie points with your leading lady.

Example 1: Helping your gal over a mudpuddle on a rainy day. Or kissing in the shower.

Example 2: Making dinner for your gal. If you can't boil water or make toast that's okay. You can order-in, put the food on nice chinaware, and put flowers or candles on the table as a centerpiece. Or alternately you can run her bathwater, put in bubbles, and light some candles. Simple stuff, but women appreciate it. This can be a win-win situation, since these things might put her in the mood for sexytime.

If you guys are not married/living together, are still virgins, or just have traditional values, there are still plenty of sweet/romantic things you can do for her. Just age old gentlemanly things will make her feel appreciated.
Example 3: Opening doors, surprising her with flowers or coffee at work, giving a small gift to her mother or sisters.

Also being emotionally supportive is a great way to win her.
Example 4: Listening to her when she's had a rough day and needs to vent, (it's really not hard, you just need to feign interest). Offering her your shoulder when she's crying (an ages old trick), rubbing her shoulders when she's stressed, bringing her a care package when she's sick (box of tissues, vicks vapo rub, ramen noodles, teddy bear, good book).

And of course women want to feel sexual and attractive.
Example 5: Complementing her outfit, saying her name in bed (just don't get it wrong), being adventurous in the bedroom, touching/running your fingers through her hair when you're making out.

Just a few examples of ways to win her over, and become the fantasy guy she drools over in the movies. Word of warning though, don't be too cheesy or over-the-top! It could be a turn-off, or worse yet she will think you have a girl on the side, and are overcompensating. Just make sure you ease into it, stay somewhat consistent, and don't do anything too out of character. If you do things right though, she will be loving it. And these are just examples. You can come up with your own ideas of course.
Love and Peas,
SnookieBear  =D

Introduction!

Hi guys! You don't know me personally, but you probably know someone like me. By that, I mean that you may have a girl in the midst of your guy friends, who is "One of the Guys". She may be genuinely a tomboy, she may hang with a group of guys because she wants to scope out a cutie, snoop on her boyfriend, or just feels more comfortable around guys than girls.

I happen to fall into that description/fit that stereotype for probably all of the reasons listed above. Let me elaborate on that. I am not a serious tomboy,  I don't even enjoy sports that much. Not that I'll never go to a game or root for a favorite team. But I don't get the fan craziness, I don't like watching sports on tv, and I could possibly die of boredom from hearing game stats. I have enjoyed the company of a group of guys, for the devious undercover reason of...being a girl surrounded by cute and interesting guys. For a girl, it could possibly be equated to a guy enjoying the idea of a threesome, or girl on girl jello wrestling. I have gone to a party or guys night out (or in usually), for the purpose of keeping tabs on my guy, and making sure he stays out of trouble. I have more guy friends, and enjoy male company. Mostly because I understand men better than I do women, and feel more comfortable in a group of guys than gals.

I won't say that there isn't a downside to this. I occasionally get hate from jealous girlfriends, have been the subject of ugly gossip/rumors, and sometimes guys get the wrong idea about my friendship with them. I have a guy friend I used to hang with a lot. He thought there could be something more to the friendship, and I unintentionally broke his heart. The perks are not so bad though. The main one being, that I can understand how guys think. More than the average woman reading Cosmo, trying to decifer her man. Cosmo and magazines like that are bull****, they have unrealistic nonsense that leaves the woman no closer to understanding her guy or finding relationship bliss. I'm not gonna lie, I cry over sappy chic flicks and rom-coms. But I am equally disgusted by them. They give women unrealistic expectations of love and Mr. Right.

Right now you are probably assuming some things about me. Like, maybe I'm some homely fortysomething four-eyed writer, living in a cramped city apartment with my many cats, eating Ben and Jerry's and crying over episodes of The Bachlorette. Not even close, though I do own a cat (he's awesome) and Cherry Garcia is the shiz. Or maybe, I'm the butch, belching, unsexy guy's girl who's never been kissed let alone...you know... the other thing. I am actually a cute, thin, blond, twentysomething single mom.

Anyway, the reason I want to start this blog is because there are so many magazines, blogs, web acticles, and advice columns that are dedicated to love and dating advice for women. But I haven't really seen that many for the benefit of men. So I want to write this blog to help empower men, and give them some good advice to help them in their dating or married life. I don't want to make this exclusive, so if women want to join the convo that is perfectly ok. I will try to set something up so you guys can message me questions or comments. I kind of want to do this in a sort of Q/A format. So I will take hypothetical cases or questions you guys send me, and write out my answers to them. I don't want to offend anyone, but I can be blunt, so I apologize in advance. Well, that's all for now.
Love and Peas,
SnookieBear  =D